Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
