You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
