I wish i was in the wii world.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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