Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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