I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
