I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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