She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
