I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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