WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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