i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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