Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
