She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
