Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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