Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
