Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
