btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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