STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
