i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
