i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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