We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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