It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
