Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
