he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
