i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
