Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
