oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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