bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
