Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
