Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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