Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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