...so i touched it.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
