So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
