Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
