The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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