I cockslap morals
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
