his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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