Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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