So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
