Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
