i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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