Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
