you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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