I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
