found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
