dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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