This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
