she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
