Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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