I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
