Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
