Walk of Shame. In a state park.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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