I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
