just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
