The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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