The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
